I was advanced material age (38) when I was pregnant with Sully and a high risk of going into labor early which led to taking shots weekly. (Did this lead to autism?) 

It was by far my hardest pregnancy on my body.

Sully was also breach and we tried doing an aversion technique to get him to turn but he was stubborn and wouldn’t budge. Plus it was extremely painful. (Did this lead to his autism?)

I was already over weight when I got pregnant with back to back pregnancies…my boys are 23 months apart. I didn’t eat or drink the healthiest. (Did this lead to his autism?) 

But I knew all the pain would be worth it to give our middle child (Remi) a sibling close to his own age he could bond with, create memories with and play with. 

I ended up having a C-section and was terrified. My anxiety was through the roof. Sully ended up swallowing some fecal matter and had a little distress at first. (Did this lead to his autism?) 

The weird thing is they don’t tell you that when having a C-section it may take a minute or two to feel that bond because you are not having the baby naturally. They just hand your baby to you.  It is something I didn’t go though with my other two because they were natural. 

I felt guilty very guilty over not having an instant connection with him. Why don’t people talk about this more? But dont worry the connection came and I love him fiercely.

When our son was  born, he didn’t come with instructions and nothing could have prepared us for his diagnosis of severe ADHD, ODD, SPD, anxiety and  autism. And we may never know what caused his autism.  Through this process Tim has wanted to get tested because Sully is much like he was when he was a kid. He may have had autism too. 

We have made some mistakes along the way, we are far from perfect parents, but we have always tried our best.  

The mistakes we made were from lack of understanding not lack of love, because from the moment he was born we knew we would love him with all that we had. 

The day he was born we looked into his eyes and knew our dreams had come true. Sure our dreams for him look differently now but the future is his to make. 

He can do anything he sets his mind to. Your diagnosis doesn’t define you. 

Sully we love you more than you will ever know now and to eternity. 

This post was guest written and shared by Tonya Andrews. You can follow her family’s journey at Confessions of a Family with 3 Crazy Boys.