We have a 14-year-old son-Jojo. He has cerebral palsy, global cognitive delay, autism (level 2-3), and reactive attachment disorder. We adopted him in 2017 when he was six years old, though the story began much earlier.
Katy had previously volunteered for a year at a children’s home in South Africa, where she met Jojo when he was eight months old. She cared for him there until he was just over a year old. During that time, she fell in love with him and deeply desired to adopt him, though she didn’t know if it would ever be possible. When she returned to the States, she continued praying that God would somehow allow her to be part of Jojo’s life again someday.
A few years later, we were married. Joe and Katy had been in contact while she was still in South Africa, and Joe had “met” Jojo through video chats and pictures, though he had never had the chance to visit in person. Still, when we began talking about starting a family, both of us were seeking God’s will and asking for the opportunity to care for Jojo.
Around the time Katy left South Africa, Jojo was moved from his original children’s home to a special needs facility. He was essentially deemed unadoptable because of his medical and developmental needs, and therefore was not placed on an adoption list. South Africa also discourages pre-selected adoptions, where the potential parent has had previous contact with the child. It seemed very unlikely that Katy would ever be allowed to adopt Jojo.
But through the work of two adoption agencies and some incredibly dedicated attorneys, God shattered those barriers and paved the way for Jojo to become our son.
After about a year and a half of appointments, paperwork, and waiting, we flew to South Africa and spent eight weeks there completing the process.
During that time, God continued to prove again and again that He was at work and going before us to provide. The guest house we stayed at near Jojo’s home turned out to be owned by a Christian woman and her husband, who were deeply supportive of both adoption and the home where Jojo lived. The South African judge who presided over our court hearing paused the proceedings to speak about adoption as a picture of the Gospel and to express his encouragement for us on this journey.
While waiting for the final visa and paperwork, we “happened” to meet a woman in Cape Town who was a Delta Global Account Manager (we were scheduled to fly back with Delta). She made sure we would be well cared for on the way home to the States.
Looking back, we needed those confirmations—because the road ahead was going to be much more complicated. We knew Jojo had challenges to face, but what that would look like was, of course, impossible to predict.
Fast-forward to now, and Jojo has undergone multiple medical procedures, including a major neurosurgery on his lower spine to release the spasticity in his legs and help him walk upright. That surgery required five weeks of intensive inpatient therapy, followed by five weeks of outpatient therapy as he relearned how to walk and use his legs again. He has also had three ENT surgeries due to severe sleep apnea and breathing issues, along with several smaller procedures for various other reasons.
It’s been a while since his last major medical procedure, but some health questions remain unanswered. And, of course, the emotional and intellectual challenges don’t simply fade away.
Jojo is a playful, affectionate, energetic, and goofy kid who loves to tease, snuggle, and laugh. But he struggles too. He struggles with misunderstandings and with things he perceives as threats. He feels the emotions of others deeply and doesn’t always know what to do with what he sees and hears, even when it has nothing to do with him
personally. His feelings of anxiety and frustration can be overwhelming, and there are sources of agitation that we simply cannot identify. One of the best ways to describe him is to say that he is physical in all of his emotions. That’s just part of who he is; he feels everything with his whole body.
Yes, his breakdowns can be aggressive and difficult to manage, but he is so much more than those moments. The people who take the time to know him and engage with him reap the rewards of his affection and joy.
Through the years, we have laughed, and we have wept. We have mourned, and we have rejoiced. We’ve been at our lowest points- wishing that God would either bring the healing we begged for or else take us home to end the suffering. We’ve also stood on mountaintops, watching the hand of God move and seeing remarkable progress in Jojo’s life.
Katy is a hospice nurse with a heart to serve people facing significant challenges and difficult decisions. She strives to use her skills and compassion to care for others both in her work and outside of it.
Joe is a vascular sonographer and the author of a book written to reach others who are walking through seemingly endless struggles. He desires to share hope and offer renewed strength, especially as the father of a child with significant needs.
We don’t know what the future holds, and many things remain unanswered for us. But we are deeply grateful to be Jojo’s parents, and thankful for all that God has worked in and through us along the way.